I was on my way to a game farm near Ellisras recently with a few friends and I spent the entire trip at the back of the bakkie, under a canvas canopy with a date who happened to be a policeman and a cooler box filled with rum and cokes. By night fall we were well warmed up and getting down and dirty under the canvass and under cover of darkness. We were totally oblivious to the road block up ahead so when the vehicle came to a stop, we just assumed it was for a robot or stop sign and did not bother to try and see what was going on. I had my policeman firmly between my legs with his cock deep inside of me when we suddenly heard voices and saw lights flashing around the back. ‘Wat die fok gaan hier agter aan?’ The voice came from outside the vehicle and before we could react, the canvas was pulled off and there stood a few Policemen with torches in their hands, shining directly onto our naked and entwined bodies. ‘Pottie, is dit jy?’ The policeman recognised my blind date immediately and the mood quickly changed. My date sat up, blinking in the blinding torch light and feebly answered ‘What the hell are you guys doing out here this time of night?’ He was fumbling for clothes while I just lay back, it was pointless trying to cover up what they had already seen clearly and I was quite relaxed after the bottle of rum we just finished. ‘En wie is die Rooikop saam met jou?’ The policeman seemed more interested on my naked body that was exposed, then on my dates answer. ‘Waar is Gerda, Pottie, is julle uitmekaar?’ His words were accusing my date and meant to make me feel bad for my dates girlfriend, or lack there of tonight. They obviously had no idea who they were dealing with my lack of concern seemed to only make the policeman more determined to try and humiliate me somehow. My date eventually found his pants and jumped out the back and pulled the old policeman aside to speak privately to him. My friends in the front of the vehicle thought it was all a big joke, began handing out beers and came to check if I was ok. ‘Jissie, woman, you could at least put something on’ my friend Hannes was now trying to cover me up, or at least trying to get the cops to move away from my naked and exposed body but failed dismally due to my lack of concern for my predicament and the need to cover my nudity. After much negotiating from my date and the fact that the cops had had their fun, we were back on the road and this time having a good giggle at what just happened.
We arrived at the farm in the middle of the night and were ushered quietly into our rooms before waking the entire household up. The farm was quiet and the old farm house was dimly lit with paraffin lamps and shafts of moonlight peeping through the flimsy curtains. We all fell into our beds immediately and fell fast asleep. I awoke to the sounds of voices and laughing and went off to find my travel companions. I wandered around until I found them all sitting on the veranda around a large table, eating breakfast and chatting up a storm. An elderly guy spotted me ‘Ja stoutgat, is jy wakker?’ The whole table burst out laughing and I sat down next to Maria ‘Morning’ I kept my eyes down, I must have looked a mess and I knew there was no winning once I got started. Introductions were then officially done and I felt disapproving glares from the ladies sitting around the table. After breakfast I enquired about a shower ‘We have a drought here, so you will have to wait until this evening after we have pumped the water or you can shower in cold water around the back, there is an outdoor shower’ Oom Frik, our host explained to me. Everyone went about their way and I went to fetch my toiletries and was determined to have my fucking shower. I went around the back and saw a shower but no walls around the shower. The shower seemed to come straight off the windmill pump and seemed to be a bit of an after-thought, perhaps for those hot and dry days to stand under and cool down. I looked around, it seemed very private, there was a hedge around and no one seemed to come to this side of the house, so I undressed and stepped under the cool water. It was so liberating to shower outside again, with the bushveld around me and the smell of the African soil under my feet. I washed my hair and was busy rinsing the conditioner off when all hell broke loose. I heard a vehicle skid to a stop in the dirt, laughter and high-pitched voices and washed the soap out of my eyes to see the entire open vehicle of people parked in front of me. It was chaos, half the men were hysterical but trying desperately not to show their sport in front of their women, the women were trying to hide their own eyes, but also trying to keep their men from looking at my exposed body. My date came charging towards me with a towel trying to look serious but was holding back his laughter at the situation again. ‘Life is never boring with you, your friend did mention that, and now I can see why’ He wrapped me up and directed me back towards the house. ‘It is ok, I was not lus for the drive anyway.’
That evening we had a massive braai in the boma, many people joined our hosts for the festivities and nobody had mentioned the mornings incident yet. It was Oom Frik’s birthday and the guests were on the conservative side, so we enjoyed dinner and a few drinks, then went off to our rooms to relax and have a bit of fun away from the elders. We ended up in the pool, skinning dipping and getting quite loud when a few of the guys came over and joined us for a swim and a few drinks and soon enough, we were out of hand and I had the girls lined up to have a best Boobies competition, which was going very well until a few of the wives turned up. ‘Jou loslyf Rooikop vriendin het nou genoeg kak aangejaag Hannes, dit is tyd om haar maar terug te vat’ One of the wives made the statement, turned around and walked away with much chattering and disapproving glances at their poor spouses. ‘Well, I guess I am just a little too wild for this place, and wild only relates to the bushveld, so I guess even an apology would be pointless. I shall go and sleep it off and just load me up when you go, preferably without waking me up too much’ I turned around, decided to leave my top off and sauntered into my room without so much as a backward glance.
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